Saturday, April 28, 2007
Dealing with conflict
I've just been going through some of my notes from Spring Harvest...one of the sessions I went to looked at the issue of conflict. I've typed up some of the notes (see below). When it's laid out like this, it's quite easy to recognise some of the problems we come across and when we, as individuals, will succeed...for example, I'm probably a 'problem solver'...but people like me will find it difficult to solve some conflicts...there may be times when a facilitator is needed.
Three myths about conflict
Three myths about conflict
- Conflict can never lead to anything positive
- Conflicts are a result of clashing personalities. Personalities don’t clash, behavior does
- Conflict and anger go together
Four levels of conflict
Generaly speaking there are four causes (or levels) of conflict:
Level 1 – Facts or data. People have the wrong information about stuff
Level 2 – Process or methods. There is a disagreement about how something should be done.
Level 3 – Goals or purpose. When people don’t agree with vision
Level 4 – Values. Where the parties disagree about basic values, ie, one party thinks we should look to the past, others look to the future.
Styles of handling
When dealing with conflict, most of us will fit into one of these roles:
- The problem solver. These people refuse to give in…finding a solution is just a mater of time. This approach tends to work where the parties have common goals
- The super helper. This person wants to see all conflicts resolved. They will fight tooth and nail for someone else but often find it hard to sort out their own issues
- The power broker. We will solve this problem and it does not matter how many casualties there are. All that matters is that we resolve the problem.
- The facilitator. They look for ways of bringing people together
- The fearful looser. These people tend to run from conflict.
Top tips
- Separate the people from the problem
- Focus on the issues not the positions
- Think about the options that might solve the problem(s). Is there space for compromise?
Insist on objective criteria….on what basis will we agree to disagree? A third party judge? - Try make it a shared problem, not a conflict problem
- Don’t be personal – behave like adults
- Keep your body language in check
- Try to clarify goals. What outcome is needed and where goal fits?
- Listen carefully ‘underneath the words’ and reflect back, ie, don't just listen to what they are saying....what do their words imply?
Labels: Behaviour, Spring Harvest, Training
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Friends and Popularity - Mean Girls
On Monday I did this talk based about about being popular / fitting in / making new friends. The idea was to look at some of the issues that those moving on to sixth form / collage might face when they start in September.
Labels: Talks, Video clip ideas
Monday, April 23, 2007
10 Tips To Great Communication With Teenagers
Saturday, April 21, 2007
One in 30 aborted babies lives
Here's a good discussion point:
- "One in 30 foetuses aborted for medical reasons is born alive, a 10-year study at 20 UK hospitals has found.
Most of these babies with disabilities were born between 20 and 24 weeks of pregnancy and all lived for no more than a few hours."
For more details check out this article on the BBC
Labels: Illustrations, Statistics
Friday, April 20, 2007
The modern man...
See this story about a survey done for FHM...it includes, amongst other things, the top 10 guys other men would like to swap lives with:
1. David Beckham.
2. Richard Branson.
3. Brad Pitt.
4. Hugh Hefner.
5. Bill Gates.
6. Steven Gerrard.
7. George Clooney.
8. Sultan of Brunei.
9. Roman Abramovich.
10. Jose Mourinho.
1. David Beckham.
2. Richard Branson.
3. Brad Pitt.
4. Hugh Hefner.
5. Bill Gates.
6. Steven Gerrard.
7. George Clooney.
8. Sultan of Brunei.
9. Roman Abramovich.
10. Jose Mourinho.
Labels: Illustrations, Statistics
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
http://media-convert.com/
Check out http://media-convert.com/ - this free, online tool converts a whole rage of files from one format to another - it's worked for the formats I've tried!
Monday, April 16, 2007
Bullying video clips - ideas
I'm just been looking up some video clips that could be used to address the topic of bullying. Here are some ideas:
Billy Madison - 54 minutes to 57 minutes from the start of the video
Billy Madison - 54 minutes to 57 minutes from the start of the video
- See Jonathans talk here
- During this clip, Neil tears a strip of Del. He does it in a particularly vicious way.
- See my talk here
- See my blog entry here
- See my blog entry on scene 3 here
- See my blog entry here
- White Goodman comes to intimidate the opposition
- the first 7 minutes of this film give a fairly graphics example of a girl being bullied at school. She is beaten and forced to say she is a virgin. You could only show this to an older group (the film is certificate 15). This clip, however, might be the best real example of what might happen in a school.
- The film is based around a new student called Cady and her relationship with a group of girls called "The plastics". The plastics are the three most popular girls in the school. Basically, Cady gets sucked in to this group and then falls for the boyfriend of the Regina, who is the leader of the group. The plot then turns to revenge, which eventually involves everyone in the whole school. This climaxes in the scenes suggested. This starts when posters are distributed around the school full of slander / secrets about everyone in the school. During scenes 15/16 the teachers get everyone together to try add address the issues.
- Note that chapters 17 and 18 draw the film to a close by showing how Cady changed for the better and what lessons she had learned
Labels: Bullying, Video clip ideas
Sunday, April 15, 2007
www.gracemag.co.uk - magazine for 11 - 16's
I came across this new magazine called grace..."Grace is a cool, new, 48-page glossy, handbag-size mag for teenage girls aged 11-16 — full of fashion, beauty, health, real-life stories, interviews, reviews, QUIZZES, problem pages and more!"
They appear to be sending out samples for youth leaders...see http://www.gracemag.co.uk/
They appear to be sending out samples for youth leaders...see http://www.gracemag.co.uk/
Raise drinking age to 21?
See this article on the BBC. Here are some quotes:
- "Alcohol-related conditions such as liver disease have doubled in less than a decade, to 262,844 a year"
- "The number of people taken to Accident & Emergency with alcohol-related injuries has also doubled to 148,477 a year"
- "Excessive drinking by young people has seen a 20% rise in hospital admissions in England over the last five years"
Labels: Drugs, Statistics
Friday, April 13, 2007
The Volunteer Driver's Handbook
Check out this email I received from http://www.nyfvo.org.uk/nyfvonet.shtml:
Maybe we could add this to add this to our respective youth work manuals....
RoSPA has launched a new handbook to help volunteer drivers avoid accidents and injuries to themselves, their passengers and other road users....The new handbook has sections on key driving issues including journey planning, fitness to drive (including the effects of drink, medicines and fatigue), safe speed, seatbelts, distraction (including from mobile phones), vehicle safety and emergency procedures.
Produced with the support of the Department for Transport, the Volunteer Driver's Handbook is also available as a free download at www.rospa.com/roadsafety/info/volunteer_drivers.pdf Paper copies can be ordered free by emailing dvernon@rospa.com and the deadline for orders is 27 April 2007.
The new handbook complements a manager's guide on occupational road risk in voluntary organisations that was produced by RoSPA in 2003 and can be downloaded from http://www.rospa.com/roadsafety/info/voluntary_morr.pdf
Maybe we could add this to add this to our respective youth work manuals....
Labels: Training
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Social trends survey
Check out this story on the BBC. It's based on information from The Office for National Statistics and gives various facts and figures about single parent families / divorce etc. The report can be found here.
Labels: Statistics
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
www.safeinchurch.co.uk - spiritual abuse
I suspect spiritual abuse is one of those things we don't much think about. www.safeinchurch.co.uk introduces the issues and high lites some of the warning signs. You can download a PDF of the entire site here.
Labels: Training
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
An Inconvenient Truth - environment talk update
On Monday I watched the Al Gore's movie An Inconvenient Truth. If you haven’t seen this, then put it go on your list of things to watch! Basically it's a documentary outlining various facts / scientific research / evidence about global warming…it argues the case well.
I've updated my Looking out for planet earth talk to include a reference to this. I've also added the changes I made for The Day After Tomorrow version of the talk.
Note the Inconvenient truth website is www.climatecrisis.net
I've updated my Looking out for planet earth talk to include a reference to this. I've also added the changes I made for The Day After Tomorrow version of the talk.
Note the Inconvenient truth website is www.climatecrisis.net
Labels: Talks, Video clip ideas
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
10 things...statistics...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6506573.stm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/magazinemonitor/2007/02/10_things_we_didnt_know_last_w_15.shtml
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/magazinemonitor/2007/02/10_things_we_didnt_know_last_w_14.shtml
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/magazinemonitor/2007/02/10_things_we_didnt_know_last_w_13.shtml
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/magazinemonitor/2006/10/10_things_we_didnt_know_last_w_2.shtml
- "The annual poll of 8,200 11 to 15-year-olds found 21% had an alcoholic drink in the previous week, down from 26% in 2001."
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/magazinemonitor/2007/02/10_things_we_didnt_know_last_w_15.shtml
- "Less than 5% of cohabiting couples stay together for longer than 10 years"
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/magazinemonitor/2007/02/10_things_we_didnt_know_last_w_14.shtml
- "One in three households in the UK is dependent on the state for at least half its income, says thinktank Civitas"
- "Two-thirds of Frosties are eaten by men aged 18+."
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/magazinemonitor/2007/02/10_things_we_didnt_know_last_w_13.shtml
- "Eighty-eight percent of children in Poland aged 12 to 18 use instant messaging, compared to 50% in the UK, says a survey. "
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/magazinemonitor/2006/10/10_things_we_didnt_know_last_w_2.shtml
- "Boys' GCSE results have improved to the level that girls had reached seven years ago"
- "Twice as many people turn their heads to the right to kiss as to the left, say researchers"
Labels: Statistics
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Worship songs
Note that Jonathan has created a new section on his website for some of the worship songs he's used with our Children's work. You'll find the words and some mp3's here.
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