Saturday, April 28, 2007

Dealing with conflict

I've just been going through some of my notes from Spring of the sessions I went to looked at the issue of conflict. I've typed up some of the notes (see below). When it's laid out like this, it's quite easy to recognise some of the problems we come across and when we, as individuals, will succeed...for example, I'm probably a 'problem solver'...but people like me will find it difficult to solve some conflicts...there may be times when a facilitator is needed.

Three myths about conflict
  1. Conflict can never lead to anything positive
  2. Conflicts are a result of clashing personalities. Personalities don’t clash, behavior does
  3. Conflict and anger go together

Four levels of conflict

Generaly speaking there are four causes (or levels) of conflict:

Level 1 – Facts or data. People have the wrong information about stuff
Level 2 – Process or methods. There is a disagreement about how something should be done.
Level 3 – Goals or purpose. When people don’t agree with vision
Level 4 – Values. Where the parties disagree about basic values, ie, one party thinks we should look to the past, others look to the future.

Styles of handling

When dealing with conflict, most of us will fit into one of these roles:

  1. The problem solver. These people refuse to give in…finding a solution is just a mater of time. This approach tends to work where the parties have common goals
  2. The super helper. This person wants to see all conflicts resolved. They will fight tooth and nail for someone else but often find it hard to sort out their own issues
  3. The power broker. We will solve this problem and it does not matter how many casualties there are. All that matters is that we resolve the problem.
  4. The facilitator. They look for ways of bringing people together
  5. The fearful looser. These people tend to run from conflict.

Top tips

  • Separate the people from the problem
  • Focus on the issues not the positions
  • Think about the options that might solve the problem(s). Is there space for compromise?
    Insist on objective criteria….on what basis will we agree to disagree? A third party judge?
  • Try make it a shared problem, not a conflict problem
  • Don’t be personal – behave like adults
  • Keep your body language in check
  • Try to clarify goals. What outcome is needed and where goal fits?
  • Listen carefully ‘underneath the words’ and reflect back, ie, don't just listen to what they are saying....what do their words imply?

Labels: , ,

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Friends and Popularity - Mean Girls

On Monday I did this talk based about about being popular / fitting in / making new friends. The idea was to look at some of the issues that those moving on to sixth form / collage might face when they start in September.

Labels: ,

Monday, April 23, 2007

10 Tips To Great Communication With Teenagers

Checkout these 10 tips.


Saturday, April 21, 2007

One in 30 aborted babies lives

Here's a good discussion point:

For more details check out this article on the BBC

Labels: ,

Friday, April 20, 2007

The modern man...

See this story about a survey done for includes, amongst other things, the top 10 guys other men would like to swap lives with:

1. David Beckham.
2. Richard Branson.
3. Brad Pitt.
4. Hugh Hefner.
5. Bill Gates.
6. Steven Gerrard.
7. George Clooney.
8. Sultan of Brunei.
9. Roman Abramovich.
10. Jose Mourinho.

Labels: ,

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Check out - this free, online tool converts a whole rage of files from one format to another - it's worked for the formats I've tried!

Monday, April 16, 2007

Bullying video clips - ideas

I'm just been looking up some video clips that could be used to address the topic of bullying. Here are some ideas:

Billy Madison - 54 minutes to 57 minutes from the start of the video
Plains, trains and automobiles - 19 minutes to 26 minutes / DVD chapter 7.
The Pacifier
The Longest Yard
Dodgeball - 29 minutes to 33 minutes / DVD chapter 10
Kidulthood - DVD chapter 1
Mean girls - 59 minutes to 1 hour 13 minutes / DVD Chapter 13 - 16

Labels: ,

Sunday, April 15, 2007 - magazine for 11 - 16's

I came across this new magazine called grace..."Grace is a cool, new, 48-page glossy, handbag-size mag for teenage girls aged 11-16 — full of fashion, beauty, health, real-life stories, interviews, reviews, QUIZZES, problem pages and more!"

They appear to be sending out samples for youth leaders...see

Raise drinking age to 21?

See this article on the BBC. Here are some quotes:

Labels: ,

Friday, April 13, 2007

The Volunteer Driver's Handbook

Check out this email I received from
RoSPA has launched a new handbook to help volunteer drivers avoid accidents and injuries to themselves, their passengers and other road users....The new handbook has sections on key driving issues including journey planning, fitness to drive (including the effects of drink, medicines and fatigue), safe speed, seatbelts, distraction (including from mobile phones), vehicle safety and emergency procedures.

Produced with the support of the Department for Transport, the Volunteer Driver's Handbook is also available as a free download at Paper copies can be ordered free by emailing and the deadline for orders is 27 April 2007.

The new handbook complements a manager's guide on occupational road risk in voluntary organisations that was produced by RoSPA in 2003 and can be downloaded from

Maybe we could add this to add this to our respective youth work manuals....


Thursday, April 12, 2007

Social trends survey

Check out this story on the BBC. It's based on information from The Office for National Statistics and gives various facts and figures about single parent families / divorce etc. The report can be found here.


Wednesday, April 11, 2007 - spiritual abuse

I suspect spiritual abuse is one of those things we don't much think about. introduces the issues and high lites some of the warning signs. You can download a PDF of the entire site here.


Tuesday, April 10, 2007

An Inconvenient Truth - environment talk update

On Monday I watched the Al Gore's movie An Inconvenient Truth. If you haven’t seen this, then put it go on your list of things to watch! Basically it's a documentary outlining various facts / scientific research / evidence about global warming…it argues the case well.

I've updated my Looking out for planet earth talk to include a reference to this. I've also added the changes I made for The Day After Tomorrow version of the talk.

Note the Inconvenient truth website is

Labels: ,

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

10 things...statistics...


Sunday, April 01, 2007

Worship songs

Note that Jonathan has created a new section on his website for some of the worship songs he's used with our Children's work. You'll find the words and some mp3's here.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Subscribe to Posts [Atom]

eXTReMe Tracker