Tonight, we are going to talk about healthy / unhealthy relationships
That includes relationships between our friends / boyfriends / girlfriends
/ parents / whatever
Were going to start by watching a clip from About A Boy
In this clip you will see how relationships effect different people
[About a boy]
1 mins - alarm clock goes off
17 mins - what a shame he can't come
The middle bit
What kind of words would you use to describe Will's attitude towards
relationships / women?
Selfish / one sided / use / sex / shallow /
Why did he want to go out with single women?
To feel good about him self / good sex / looked good
He says there must be loads of single parents "waiting for a nice guy to
sleep with an break up with"
Do you think these are the kind of things that good relationships are
Do you think Will's attitude towards women is common?
What should a good relationship be based on?
Love / respect / openness / acceptance / affection / care / equality /
intimacy / friendship
According to the Bible, all of our relationships should be based on love
1 Corinthians 13:1-3 "I may speak in different languages of people or even angels. But if I do
not have love, I am only a noisy bell or crashing cymbal. I may have the gift
of prophecy. I many understand all the secret things of God and have all
knowledge, and I may have faith so great I can move mountains. But even will
all these things, if I do not have love, then I am nothing. I may give away
everything I have, and I may even give my body as an offering to be burnt. But
I gain nothing if I do not have love"
The Bible says that
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not boast, and it
is not proud. Love is not rude, is not selfish, and does not get upset with
others. Love does not count up wrongs that have been done. Love is not happy
with evil but is happy with the truth. Love patiently accepts all things. It
always trusts, always hopes, and always remains strong. Love never ends."
In reality, not all of our relationships are based on love
They are based on other things, sometimes hurtful things
What kind of words would you use to describe a bad relationship?
Fear / control / power / distant / one-sided / lack of commitment /
emotional blackmail / jealousy / rude / selfish / hurtful / abusive
Which of these are the worst?
Even thought some relationships are 'bad for us', we keep going back.
I'd like us to finish tonight by thinking about those relationships in our
lives that are important to us and the relationships that trouble us...that
mess with our head...
Be honest with yourself...sometimes we don't want to be...
[Light a candle / turn lights out]
In a moment, I'm going to say some words and as I say them, I'd like you
to think of somebody...perhaps somebody it reminds you of
Say: Trust / Love / respect / acceptance / affection / care / close /
friendship / forgiving / committed / warm / generous / equal
Now I'm going to read out some different words, and as before, I'd like
you to think of somebody
Say: Fear / control / power / dirty / distant / one-sided / lack of
commitment / emotional blackmail / cold / hurt / secrecy / afraid / used /
I'd like you to keep those names in your head
In a moment, I'm going to pass the candle around
If you feel you need to pray about those relationships, please do