Tonight we’re going to explore the question: how far should you go with
your boyfriend…
This is a difficult and personal subject…your experiences will all be
different…
With this in mind I'd like us to set some rules for tonight's
discussion...
[Let them give their suggestions, for example, confidentiality,
language etc.]
Please speak freely using the language you’d normally use, but please
don’t too get carried away…if you feel you don’t want to answer a question,
that’s fine…
To set the scene, we’re going to watch the first 17 minutes of 40 days and
40 nights…this clip starts and the beginning of the film…
[40 days and 40 nights]
0 mins – 17 mins “he’s just taken a vow of celibacy”
Middle bit
That clip highlights some of the struggles and temptations that we’ll all
face when it comes to relationships…are relationships just about sexual things
or is it something more?
We’re going to look at some situations that you might be faced with…and
we’d like you to tell us what you would do? And what are the consequences of
the choices you make?
Scenario 1 (sex)
You’re at a friends party and everybody is a little drunk…your getting off
with this lad you’ve just meet…he asks you if you want to go up stairs…
What would you do?
What could happen?
Scenario 2 (petting)
You’ve been going out with your boyfriend for 2 weeks and his hands are
beginning to wander…
What would you do?
What could happen?
Scenario 3 (pressure)
You’ve been going out with your boyfriend for 6 months and he asks you to
do something you don’t want to do
What would you do?
What could happen?
Scenario 4 (pregnancy)
You wake up with a hangover and discover your boyfriend is lying next to
you in your bed…you can’t remember anything from the night before
What would you do?
What could happen?
Consequences…questions
The sexually choices we make will effect us emotionally, physically,
spiritually, socially
It may also change our relationship with our families, friends, and our
whole outlook on life
How can the sexually choices we make effect us emotionally?
Guilt / shame / dirty / used / scared / regret
Dirty / used in away that no physic
Scar us in away that other things can’t
How can the sexually choices we make effect us physically?
Pregnancy / STI (Sexually transmitted infections)
What is a STI? Can you name any?
How do you catch them?
What can they do to you?
How can the sexually choices we make effect us spiritually?
Can destroy our self-esteem…
Make us feel bad about ourselves
Effect your relationship with God
What ever we have done…God still loves you…
How can the sexually choices we make effect us socially?
Reputation “slag” or “fridged”
People look down on you / judge you
How can the sexually choices we make effect us family / friends?
Sometimes it’s difficult for parents to accept that their child has
sexual feelings / desires…
Why do you think that is?
I know parents who have made their Children move out…
Bible bit
The Bible says:
I Thessalonians 4:3-5 "God wants you to be holy and to stay away from sexual sins. He wants each
of you to learn to control your own body in a way that is honourable. Don't
use your body for sexual sin like the people who do not know God"
1 Corinthians 6:12-20 " 'I am allowed to do all things,' but all things are not good for me to
do…."
Why do you think the Bible says that?
What does it mean to “control your body in a way that is honourable”?
1 Corinthians 6:18 ”Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside
his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body” or "…run from
sexual sin. No other sin affects the body as this one does. When you sin this
sin it is against your own body."
What do you think that means?
Messing around sexually can screw you up inside…
How does age effect the choices you make?
End bit
God allows us to make our own sexual choices…whether good or bad…
But we’re got to realise that there are consequences…and we're the ones
who have to live with them...
God gives us guidelines / rules not because he doesn’t want us to have
“fun”, but because he doesn’t want us to get hurt…God invented sex, he’s the
expert…
That's why the Bible teaches us that the best place for sexual things is
within a committed relationship, like marriage...
To finish with I’m going to read this poem called "and the lights are low"
from… “e.male
prayers for the lads”
